Have you ever wondered why you always want the things in life that appear unobtainable?
You are not alone. We all feel an attraction for things and people that we think we can't have or that we believe are "too good" for us. Most romantic movies are the adventures of a person being attracted to another person who they believe is "out of their league."
Most people confuse love and attraction as the same as being fascinated by someone. Be honest; we tend to show disinterest in those who are incredibly interested in us. Because it goes against the human nature of wanting things we know we cannot have. We get excited and confuse the thrilling ups and disheartening downs we experience by chasing someone's affection with having something worth fighting for.
This known as the Cat string theory. When you play with a cat and you dangle a piece string so that it is just out of reach. The cat goes crazy chasing the string. When it is too easy the cat loses interest. If you drop the string the cat the cat ignores the string completely. To keep the cat chasing the string you need to keep it just out of reach.
People that appear unavailable have higher value. We are biologically wired to seek out those who we think are better than us. Higher value means better genes. We are wired to be attracted to people that are healthy and strong with high social standing.
We often become uninterested and suspicious of people who celebrate our “goodness." In the depth of our being, there lives a small part of each one of us that believes we are not worthy.
When a person places too much value on us we often assume “there must be something wrong with you for liking me too much”. When a person desires us, we naturally place a lesser value on them.
Most people live comfortably in "the chase" of someone else, or in rejection and heartbreak by someone else. We rather seek out rejection than have affection from a lesser-valued person.
The natural inclination to avoid those who are interested in us because of the need to better ourselves by partnering with someone who we believe is “better," and our beliefs about how worthy we are.
The person who most wants or needs the negotiation to succeed has the least bargaining power. The more someone wants to make the purchase, sale, date or wants something to happen, the less power they have.